Day: August 1, 2011

The answers thus far highlight a glaring issue for me: it's an apples and oranges comparison.

A startup and a product/app/service are two different things, in the same way that a production company and a movie are two different things.

In that context, I would suggest that the majority of small/nascent production companies ARE STARTUPS, with a lot of the same constraints on cashflow/competition for talent/being crushed by missing time to market/etc.

If you are a production company with a terrible bomb movie, and you don't die, you most certainly "iterate" on your processes and/or pivot on your next film to eliminate previous problems and enhance any USP you may have.

Taken at the product side of things, I'm a little more in agreement with the idea that "based on the scale required, getting a tech/web startup app/service from zero to break even is much less daunting a prospect.

Then again, the chances are that a movie that got to "real" breakeven by the time it hits, say, DVD release, is bound to do MUCH better over the course of its salable lifetime than the average startup's breakeven site/product/service. So, "easier" to produce may not translate into easier to monetize, for example.

Overall, I'd say the main stumbling block for most entrants in either arena is "what happens when you fail", and as others have mentioned or implied:

• if you fail in Hollywood there's probably someone younger/hungrier/more in vogue to jump in and take your place doing more or less the same job, producing films that are viewed as unique.
• In Silicon Valley, it's a bit different – the people are treated more as unique entities, and it is the companies/products that are lumped together as winners/losers in various categories.

All of the above assumes more of a "traditional Hollywood" scenario – but as the recent Netflix deal indicates (not to mention a bevy of fairly successful youtube-originated shows), it's becoming easier to produce good quality entertainment at lower price points (though, admittedly, in non-traditional formats). So, I'd say based what we're seeing over time, and projecting into the future, the parallels between movie production and startup launch are going to outweigh the differences more and more five to ten years from now.

What is harder to produce: a film or a startup? Why?

The key component to an open healthy relationship is creating safety around honest communication.

By creating a safe environment and protocol for personal expression and discussion, it becomes possible to talk about anything with confidence that your partner will listen to you, and focus on how to move forward together, rather than sitting in judgment, or focusing on placing blame, "changing the rules", or the like.

Every relationship is based on mutual understandings forged at the outset. And every relationship changes over time. It is vital for success, then, that every relationship "hold space" for open discussion without fear of punishment or retribution.

This isn't the same as saying that any transgressions in a relationship (cheating on a spouse, say) need to be forgiven, merely that discussing attraction to someone outside the relationship before any cheating occurs should be something that has its place – to encourage a re-negotiation or reconfirmation of boundaries, at the very least.

This kind of support process doesn't happen overnight, and even long term relationships can suffer from a "crusting over" of assumptions, or a weariness to "have to talk about every little thing that comes up". Nevertheless, problems and assumptions that aren't addressed when they're still new/small, will just keep growing, until they become impossible to solve, even when you both agree you want to solve them. It's a lot like going to the gym – start off slow, gauge your limits, and then make it a regular part of your routine until you actually like "going there".

What are some good ways to uncover implicit judgment in personal relationships?

Does he look anything like this?
Then, he's probably flirting with you.
But not, unfortunately, a nice guy.

How can I tell if a nice guy is flirting with me?

In a word? Novelty.

I talk to myself every day – and I pretty much know, based on years of such interaction, what I'm likely to say back. Now and then, I'll surprise myself, and feel an immense creative spark, or "unsticking" of a problem… But 9 times out of 10, that process is much faster if the majority of the talking is done with other humans, who carry different life histories, perspectives, and conversational styles.

It's the newness, the surprise, and the unexpected delight (or, sure, sometimes horror) of interpersonal interaction that makes them so powerful a force in our lives.

Why do people talk to each other?

The easiest guide is "when they ask for it, or are uncomfortable with a lack of privacy".

This is the rule that is the informal basis of mixed parent-child groups attending Japanese publlic baths – right now, I have no issues bringing my 3 year old with me to the men's bath… But eventually, she's gonna start noticing a whole lot of weiners, without matching buns and condiments, and she'll start saying things like "I can wait for mommy to go".

For slightly more difficult things like multiple children sharing a bedroom, you need to compare available resources, the genders of the involved children, and also any other underlying factors (fighting, for example) that may be the root of the desire for their own space.

Ultimately, it's going to be issues around when it's appropriate for you as a parent to invade your child's privacy for the greater good… And that usually doesn't happen until they're a lot more independent, and old enough to generally understand the benefits of privacy.

So long as you have some clear guidelines to communicate/negotiate with your child, and behave consistently within them, then you should have the restrictive/punitive side covered… And letting everything else "fall into place naturally" as far as when they start receiving/earning privacy is going to map best to your individual child's development process.

Some kids figure out that they don't want to be naked at the beach really early on – and some kids make it into their 90s without every having this realization. Best not to try and enforce any rules that don't risk your child's safety or incur you specific trouble with The Law™ before they show some sign of wanting/being ready to accept such rules, and the attendant benefits they provide.

At what age does a child earn or require privacy?