Month: May 2011

Deano’s answer to If you ate poop, what would actually happen?

Posted on by Deano in Q & A

I’d like to ask in reply, “Whose poop are we talking about?”

(Photo courtesy http://amzn.to/jW0WXC)

Cats

(Photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/exp…)

Cooked properly, something like domestic cat poop – which usually has high protein content – could actually be quite nutritive (though still not healthy to eat)… Just ask any local dogs what they think – it’s better than dog treats!

Civets

(Photo courtesy of http://www.fotopedia.com/items/a…)

More reasonably, you might try searching the internet for “Kopi Luwak“, which is a special (and extremely expensive) coffee made from Civet Feces, and generally regarded as one of those eccentric delicacies, rather than an overt health risk. Okay, I’m cheating there, because it’s a drink, but you could always brew up a batch, and turn it into Kopi Luwak Chip Ice Cream!

Camels

(Photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/the…)

If you’re ever suffering from bacterial dysentery in the desert, you may ask a local Bedouin for some fresh camel feces – the stuff contains Bacillus Subtilis, which is a natural antibiotic. I do not (wait for it…) make this shit up: German soldiers fighting in the African Campaign during WWII used this homeopathic solution when supplies ran low, with great efficacy(*). In fact, using feces as a medium to ingest foreign bacterial flora when one is deficient in same can be a viable treatment of certain ailments. Still, you’re probably better off sticking to yogurt.

Humans

(Photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/jos…)

But, of course, you don’t really care about animal poo, do you? Let’s just cut to the chase, then: If you eat human feces, the most likely outcome is that you will become extremely ill from bacterial or viral infection by one or more of the following:

  • E. Coli
  • Hepatitis A
  • Hepatitis E
  • Viral Pneumonia
  • Polio
  • Influenza

When in doubt, stick with the excretions of herbivorous animals, eat in small quantities as a survival-stage technique only, and if you have a microwave or other bacteria-killing device handy, use it!

(* Carved from the interesting Wikipedia entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cop…)

If you ate poop, what would actually happen?

Deano’s answer to: “Why aren’t Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley in the next Pirates of the Caribbean film?”

Posted on by Deano in Q & A

A few fairly straightforward reasons why:

  • Their character arcs are both complete, removing their relevance from ongoing/new adventures, which need feature only Captain Jack Sparrow.
  • They were never the box office draw of the earlier films, and replacing them with new allies and frenemies (like Penélope Cruz) helps keep things “fresh”, and helps less creative movie execs figure out what additions/subtractions can help bring home more bacon.
  • Neither is a compelling enough actor/character in their own right to warrant continued exposure within the franchise – it just takes time away from the much more bankable “Johnny Depp Vs. X” storylines we are bound to see in future films.

Why aren’t Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley in the next Pirates of the Caribbean film?

Deano’s answer to: “How can we get more people to use a bicycle?”

Posted on by Deano in Q & A

I grew up in Minneapolis, Minnesota. You can get pretty much anywhere in the city, and a lot of the state using dedicated (off-street) bike trails:

(green paths are dedicated, blue are surface streets with bike lanes)

If there were no significant winter snowfall or icing issues, I’m pretty sure it’d be known as one of the most bike-able cities in the US. Nevertheless, the main problem with getting more people biking is that:

  • You can’t carry as much on a bike, so shopping in bulk is a hassle;
  • Shopping for immediate needs only can be challenging on the schedule, since things are pretty spread out, and there’s no guarantee you’ll be able to find the things you need at the nearest location… Nevermind that it becomes totally impractical for larger families;
  • Despite prevalent and well-maintained bike paths, it’s still too far to go for many types of shopping, which are still concentrated in malls and box warehouses, largely adjacent to highways. Which means… cars.

So, long story short, it’s an urban planning issue, and solutions that don’t focus on changing the minds of the planners will ultimately fail. Plan to make cars more expensive and more hassle to use than bikes and/or public transit, and people will use the latter. But, almost no one is looking into planning this way at the city/county level, because residents are a poor way to grow the tax base, compared to luring in a Costco, which only makes sense for people with lots of cargo space to visit in the first place.

Perhaps the one alternative that might work would be to increase the cost of having a driver’s license. Say, to somewhere on the order of $1K/year. That, and/or a much stricter German-style driver’s test, would make automobile ownership and usage much less “automatic”, and also inadvertently force communities to make sure they could cover all basic shopping needs locally (though I’m sure entrepreneurs could, with mild incentives, largely take care of that angle). But that would be as deep a challenge to the American concept of personal freedoms, that it’s right up there with gun control as far as how easy it would be to do.

The best bet? Wait for the oil to run out. That’ll dramatically increase bicycle usage world-wide more than any other factor.

How can we get more people to use a bicycle?

Deano’s answer to: “What’s the best place to eat in Tokyo?”

Posted on by Deano in Q & A

Given all the sushi and Japanese-cuisine-related answers, a different perspective:

The Japanese are notoriously good at taking American cultural artifacts, and then making them so much better than we do over here, it’s nearly shameful.

To that end, I would say that the best place to eat in Tokyo is at one of Tokyo’s many burger-focused eateries… After you’ve indulged in sushi, and all other “traditionally Japanese” foods, after you’ve tried some interesting spins on French and Italian cuisines/fusions, there’s really nothing like a nice solid “Hamubaaaaaaaagu” to reset the palate, and ready you for further exploration:

Not exactly a traditional American presentation… But after a nice long walk through some temples, nothing quite hits the spot like a couple artery-clogging cheeseburger patties – perfect medium rare, still sizzling on a metal plate. Honestly? It’s really hard to get stuff this good stateside. Japan wins again!

I’d also like to put in a good word for Sekai-no-Yamachan, an izakaya-style restaurant that specializes in really really great tebasaki chicken wings.

(Photo Courtesy of: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kya…)

Ideally, you’d want to visit the headquarters in Nagoya, but the Tokyo wings are nearly as good, and highly addictive. If you consider a rollicking good booze and bar-food-fueled night out with friends a key component of a great meal, Yamachan should definitely go somewhere on your list. For those with cashflow issues, it’s also fairly inexpensive.

What’s the best place to eat in Tokyo?

Deano’s answer to: “During TV and movie credits, what does it mean when an actor has ‘as X’ after their name?”

Posted on by Deano in Q & A

The opening credits on TV shows(*) work very similarly to those in the movies – it’s just that absolutely no one cares who wrote on directed a TV show, pretty much ever. 😉

With notable exceptions, like all-alphabetical listing, the order the stars appear in is negotiated like everything else as part of their contract. The particular placement the querent refers to, however, is special – it’s the equivalent in TV terms of the “marquee spot” – that spot usually reserved before the movie title to mention a particularly well known star, etc.

Pretty much everything about Mark Hughes‘ answer is correct as far as the many many whys of how someone ends up with the spot – for the newcomer who is being pushed as “studio product”, it may be the name recognition angle. For a recurring role played by a big name, it’s the glory of the last spot itself… And many times, it’s just whoever fought for it the hardest.

Ironically, if you read some of the stories about who gets what in both TV and movie credits (dig, dig, dig, they are out there online, but it’s easier to find in actor/show biographies, for sure), you start to dig up some really interesting behind the scenes gossip – many times, taking the “with… as…” spot meant giving up a bit of salary, or some other perk… But oh how glorious it must be, all these years later, to show up like a phantom as the last thing viewers see in the opening sequence… I definitely think whoever gets that spot laughs loudest, longest, and best compared to their on-set nemeses – who may have been better paid, appeared in more episodes, hand more lines, input on stories, etc.

(technically, we’re just talking title sequences, as a lot of modern shows and movies either skip opening credits, or just run text credits in-frame while ACT I “starts cold” (which is, in the end, better for the viewer, it means we get that many more minutes of show back from the bean counters who somehow like to think of an hour as consisting of what’re we down to these days, 42 minutes?!?)

During TV and movie credits, what does it mean when an actor has “as X” after their name?