Deano’s answer to: “Where is the safest place to have sex on a beach in or near San Francisco?”

Ultimately, getting caught is the problem – and it depends on whether you’re concerned about simply being noticed/watched, or if you’re trying to avoid the cops.

(Also helps if you’re not human. Photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/dav…)

Here in sunny Alameda, CA, for example, it’s no great trick to have a nice quiet beach-quickie at sunset with no one around to see (great views of SF skyline when clear). Just make sure you book your classy dinner date afterwards to occur sometime between December and March. 😉

(Okay, maybe some kiteboarders will see. Photo courtesy http://www.flickr.com/photos/jga…)

In San Francisco, easily the safest beach for sex is… North Beach! Specifically, in a VIP booth in one of the strip clubs (pricey, and some dancers will be offended if you go at it in front of her – you’re supposed to be paying attention, after all). Alternately, the live and video booths at The Lusty Lady, or one of the other video-only arcades in the area, allow for a decent level of privacy at around a quarter per minute. Watch out for those sticky floors, though.

In terms of actual sex, and actual beaches… I have two recommendations:

• Read up thoroughly on nude beaches in SF in general, and see which ones are being targeted by parks police at the present moment, and which are relatively free from gawkers, etc… There’s an ancient tome on the subject – How to Have Sex in Public Without Being Noticed – sadly way out of print, but Amazon has a few used copies: http://amzn.to/muS1pX
• Have sex in Golden Gate Park. You can try multiple different love spots on the famous “Fifty Places” list (http://www.fiftyplaces.com/intro…) to see which works for you, and then relax afterward by walking down to the beach (in time for sunset?) and perhaps a pint and burger at the Beach Chalet to regain your strength before driving home to relive the experience in bed. Sadly, this book is ALSO out of print (http://amzn.to/m7RT0y – click that “suggest for Kindle button NOW folks!), but if you print out the directions/spots of interest on the website mentioned above, you probably won’t get too lost… And if you do, hey, maybe that’s a good spot to try!

As with any public sex, make sure to bring proper protections, lubes, blankets, and a bag to dispose of any “sex litter” afterwards. Be cautious of poison ivy, sand fleas, and other threatening flora and fauna… Oh yes, and do try to make an effort not to be obnoxious, offensive, or just unpleasant to those who are there to relax, catch a little sun, or play with their kids.

This answer originally appeared on Quora: Where is the safest place to have sex on a beach in or near San Francisco?