Month: August 2011

I'd concur with Ben Rosenberg's answer from the perspective of the individual's day to day… As a parent, there is less absolute time in the day for "self care".

Philosophically, the question becomes much more difficult – is the childless person concerned about population growth worldwide, more than having time to play Batman: Arkham City uninterrupted? Is the parent concerned with continuing their genetic pattern, or other form of legacy?

I have known childless people who were demonstrably unselfish people. And I've known parents who had kids as a way to avoid being alone, or to help prove some point about their own self worth.

Overall, I'd say the question cannot be "fully answered" in the general case… Though perhaps the question "is it more harmful to be selfishly childless or a selfish parent?" could be more definitively argued.

Is it more selfish to have children or to remain childless?

You say weird like it's a bad thing.
(Planetary Vol. 1: All Over the World and Other Stories http://amzn.to/mb5Fl5)

Does it make me weird if I have no desire to get married or have kids?

Two answers spring to mind:

For "early in terms of age": the main disadvantages will likely be financial and time-based – that is, being less able to focus as intently on career or individual dreams, building up savings and investments, etc as you work together to forge a strong lasting relationship.

For "early in terms of number of prior relationships": the main disadvantages will likely be in terms of knowing what you want out of the relationship itself, and how well you and your partner are likely to create these outcomes together.

In practical terms, the younger you are, the more statistically likely both cases will be true. This isn't to say that all young lovers are doomed – it's clear to see that some people know from a very early age what they want from life, and also that some couples "just get lucky" – that, despite a lack of knowing what to look for in a compatible lifemate, they find one just the same.

For the rest of us, large dividends are likely to be paid back to us by:

• experiencing a wide variety of romantic relationships as early and often as possible, and
• holding off until later to marry until both partners are well established in their individual life plans – doing otherwise unnecessarily increases the chance of later resentment, or time-and-money-related stresses damaging the relationship in the long term.

What are the advantages/disadvantages of marrying early?

One of the most overlooked yet key components of successful romance is that it is highly subjective in nature, a reflection of, and reference to, a shared passion and history between lovers.

If your actions are such that anyone would see them as romantic, then you're doing it wrong.

This is why, so often, attached single men will remark that a given proposal story sounds crazy/lame/non-sensical, while their girlfriend is still trying to decide between sigh and swoon (go for broke ladies, if he catches you it's a good sign!).

Thus, it's possible to conduct a romantic proposal via Quora, if it makes sense for the particular couple involved, and hopefully is done in "full Quoran flair" – with much question/answer commenting, up/down voting, perhaps a special "needs improvement – should be asked on bended knee" option snuck in by a conspiratorial admin… You get the idea.

At the very least, such a proposal automatically rises above the entire pile of so-called "Jumbotronuptial Bids" incomprehensibly conducted at sports arenas in the US on a seemingly daily basis.

My advice? Follow your heart and your gut – if you think the two of you would look back on such a proposal and smile/laugh/run headlong for the nearest broom closet 10-20-50 years down the road, go for it!

Would a marriage proposal on Quora be romantic ?

The most important thing when looking for a date/mate is to be open to the idea that you have no real idea for whom you are looking.

Rather, have a great idea about who you are, and what you want in life. This will act as a great selection and filtering tool, within both your business and pleasure circles.

After you know what you want, then all you need to do is nail down is asking for it properly. Get both of those right, and you will not lack for dates – and one of them may seem to naturally persist in extremely nice ways over time.

Granted, determining even one of the above, let alone all of them, is often much more difficult than posting a well-crafted and well-meaning ad on plentyoffish or craigslist.

If, however, you want to start making matches that are predictably satisfying/interesting/attractive to you, it's best to work solely on your own needs (within reason), and then pursue a relationship within that context. Nothing else will cut the pool down as effectively or efficiently without leaving you with a lot of potential duds or "settlers" on the list.

For potential dates/mates, is it better to have a. a lot of selection criteria; b. a lot of filter criteria; or c. a few important criteria?