Author: Deano

In terms of etiquette, the more formal the invitation, the more rude it is to bring uninvited guests.

But as Roland Deschain would say, "the world has moved on." Expecting anyone to hold to any sort of predetermined and agreed upon rules of etiquette has become more limiting than comforting these days – in large part because we are both exposed, and have access to, a much larger social world/community. Which is a Very Good Thing™.

In that light, it is not accepted as generally rude to bring a friend along to when invited somewhere for something like coffee/drinks – unless it's clear that it's a one on one date. If you're unwilling to go the extra mile to make it clear you want to see her alone, then you must not only suffer the consequences, but would be a fool not to use the chance to gain an additional ally – her friend – in your romantic quest.

Being the kind of guy who welcomes surprises, copes with unexpected change, and is generally inviting and inclusive are incredibly desirable traits, and having her friend's corroboration that it's not just "in her head" is truly valuable. On the flip side, if you instantly "deflate", get more distant/distracted, or even cool to her friend, you're digging your own grave.

Long story short: rules be damned, seize every opportunity not only to impress your person of interest, but also his or her friends and family. Oh yeah, and be frickin' patient. Intention and expectation are two very different things! When you finally do have some "alone time" later on, the results should speak for themselves. 🙂

Is it rude to bring a previously unmentioned third person to coffee/drinks with a member of the opposite sex?

I think it's not about body mass ratio or fat percentage, so much as about health more generally – people who take care of themselves show a capacity to "take care" of others, in both the "Florence Nightingale" and "Florian Nightingal's All Nude Revue" senses.

Still, that leaves a huge swath of body types, height/weight combos, etc that are capable of "finding(*) true love"… The way to improve one's chances at love is to work solely on the aspects one can control. If one of those things is your weight, BMI, waistline, etc, go for it – if you do nothing other than show "true love" for yourself, then you will still have found it, no?

(* More on the finding issue here: Where and how can I find true love?)

Do thinner people have a better chance of finding true love?

Me and You and a Dog Named Boo – The debut single by Lobo… Though perhaps I'm reading too much into it?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Me_…

What are some of the most famous love triangles, real or fictional?

The best way is simply to separate the two.

You don't need a "good argument" for why you'd like to break up. Relationships are an at-will agreement in all 50 States plus Guam(*) – you can be fired at any time, for any reason. So, don't bother to explain it in any great detail.

Of course, it's a little weird to simply walk out on someone, especially after several months or years of a relationship. But just like firing an employee, it's best to keep things minimal and neutral – to use such clichéd terms like "it just isn't working out", or "we're moving in different directions".

It's not dishonest, it's simply avoiding a fight that benefits no one, and potentially extends your involvement in a weird limbo-state in which you're convinced you're broken up, and the other party is still hanging on for dear life, or perhaps trying to scrape off a pound of flesh on the way out the door.

Honestly, the question itself suggests a desire for confrontation, to "get the story out"… But to what end? If one needs to vent frustration with a failed relationship, that's better done with a support network of friends who will remain with you, take your side, or even (if they really like you) even challenge some of your assumptions.

It's also incredibly zero-sum… A breakup needn't be the result of a failed relationship. You can end on a draw, or a mutual "win". And if you can do that, why wouldn't you? It just makes you look even better to potential future candidates.

When things run their natural course, and it's time for them to come to an end, go out classy.

(* I'm joking about Guam. I have no idea what their policy is.)

What are some good ways to settle scores and articulate a break-up in clear and final terms?

There is, to my knowledge, no known single place that fits this description, though two major "themes" apply:

• Areas in which such men are relatively scarce, and remain exotic compared to the bulk of local men. For larger cities, places like Minneapolis, Chicago, Boston still seem to fit this bill fairly well, though not as dramatically as even a decade ago.
• Places in which darker skin tone and hair are more common, allowing Indian American men to "blend in" better. Good examples would be Miami, San Diego, really anywhere known for its beaches/tanning.

For those of lighter skin tone, or who already "pass" for, or are confused with, another ethnicity (Italian, Mexican, Greek, etc) can also go to cities in which such men do well/are popular with women.

In which U.S. city are Indian American men found most attractive by non-Indian American women?