Author: Deano

What's it like to be the gym partner of a hotdog eating champion?

In both cases, despite an apparent correlation, they are two entirely different, mostly-unrelated things.

Too absurd? Let's take the original question, and modify it only slightly:

What's it like to be in a long-term relationship with a Chinese person?

Certainly a bit presumptive, if not offensive, no?

Pickup artists utilize a set of skills and talents to hyper-condense the initial introduction/attraction phase of getting to know someone, largely in the hopes that that knowledge can become biblical at some point. That's it.

While very few "pickup routines" would be useful in a long term relationship, the overall strategies of "be the best you possible" and "fulfillment comes from within" are certainly great cores for long term relationships… So long as one is able to both retain an independent identity and respectfully communicate and negotiate with someone else at the same time. It's harder than it looks, but no harder for pickup artists than the rest of us…

What's it like to be in a long-term relationship with a pick-up artist?

It's often related to their feeling that attractive and compatible women are a "scarce resource" that must be mined to exhaustion, rather than that they need to expand their search, and perhaps change their own perceptions of who might make an appropriate romantic partner.

Another common cause is even simpler: there are many "additively attracted" men – those who, once drawn to someone romantically, will never lose that feeling (at least until it is acted upon/consummated).

Even if they later happily marry or become involved with someone else, the feeling may never diminish in intensity, though it may become less urgent or otherwise easier to suppress.

Why do some men keep coming back to a woman they were romantically interested in, but did not have an affair with?

I have it on pretty good authority that it's the pubococcygeus that is the most universally appealing when properly and fully developed.

Which muscles do women find most aesthetically attractive?

Whenever anyone personally asks me about a similar situation, my quick advice is this: after you've dated ten other people.

In a perfect world, that'd be ten each for:

• you,
• the ex,
• AND your best friend.

But, make a solid effort yourself, and you'll give the other two time to get over their relationship, and/or reconcile. If you still feel the urge after dating ten other people, you'll have a lot more "supporting evidence" that the ex and you getting together had nothing to do with your BF and the ex breaking up, which is primarily what you're trying to avoid.

The worst thing would be to create a competitive love triangle, and potentially lose both of them.

How much time should I wait before I hit on my best friend's ex?

It sounds like you're leaning a little too hard on your shyness, when you're clearly enterprising enough to consider some pretty adventurous maneuvers in the workplace. 😉

I'd recommend you first list out everyone you're attracted to at work, and perhaps class them by how sad your personal and professional lfe would be if each of them never spoke to you again. Then, for the "least valuable" possibility, recruit her as your wing/confidante, asking for help in meeting women, showing off your best side, etc… Don't involve her in your plot to pursue women at work, just in general.

With luck, she will have some pity on you, and perhaps introduce you to a few guys who have skills, or take you to a party or two filled with her available friends.

The main goal is to pursue at least one total stranger first, for every woman at work you are attracted to… This is mostly to gain relevant experience and confidence in simply having bad dates – after the first few, it definitely sucks less, and you start to learn which things you can work on to improve the outcome overall… It also helps to keep at least some of your social failures isolated from the workplace… While there are varying levels of stigma attached to pursuing a coworker, there's pretty universal derision for those guys who pursue multiple workmates, as it seems quite LAZY and not a sign of a confident capable and desirable partner.

I could go into further detail, but each case usually has its own twists and turns that would go against more general advice… I'd be happy to discuss your individual case one on one (no charge!), once I know more of the details, I can help devise a specific "training program" to get you to the "top of your list", and at least give you a fair shot with her.

How should I hit on a geeky woman at my workplace?