Deano’s answer to: “Should a husband have a right to know if his wife owns and uses a dildo or vibrator?”

No.

Marriage does not confer immediate and total rights to knowing everything about one's spouse. This is, in fact, a great criteria for knowing whether or not to get married – if you have no idea whether your beloved has a personal stash of sex toys, and you're too afraid to ask, you're not ready to get married.

This issue cuts both ways – if you're a man with a dildo or vibrator collection, your wife certainly has no "right" to know about it… Though, again, best practice says that if finding out about it on her own would upset either of you, or if additional distancing/walls need to be set up to prevent them finding out about it, then it's a bad sign for the future of your relationship.

Another key element is to look within, and think about the "what if" scenario. Would finding out that your wife used a vibrator when you're not around threaten you? Would it turn you on? Would you be disinterested, or curious? Knowing the answer, and then being able to share it as a hypothetical, can start to open up some of these deeper conversations – a lot of the time, it's a relief to everyone involved once it's out in the open, and it expands the potential options for cooperative play, while reducing any anxiety/shame of solo enjoyment.

Long story short – don't ask us on Quora – ask your wife, and be open to the answer, and to sharing your feelings about it openly and honestly, regardless of the outcome.

Should a husband have a right to know if his wife owns and uses a dildo or vibrator?

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