My wise Uncle Pete(*) once passed this advice to me(†) as he drove me home from Pee-Wee Soccer in his rad van(˚) one summer afternoon:
- cherry and strawberry-flavored Pixy Stix poured straight on your tongue will fill your mouth and saliva with sweet flavor for approximately 24 minutes, without horribly discoloring it the way, say, grape or blue raspberry-flavor would.
- In a pinch, any red Jolly Rancher, allowed to melt in the mouth without biting/chewing it, will provide a similar benefit, though for about half as long.
- Under no circumstances is Lik-M-Aid to be used as a substitute to either of the above solutions.
If none of these seem to work out for you, perhaps consider taking a breather from kissing entirely.
Make it a challenge for the whole family, with your children as the judges/referees, ensuring compliance. Giving them a leadership role like this can help to show that you trust and respect them and their decisions.
Also, find a healthy alternative method of expressing affection with your children (with a whole Internet out there, I'm sure something's been invented by now), and use it consistently in place of kisses. 10-20 pushups should do the trick, and may even slowly open their eyes to the benefits of the more subtle kiss. If not, at least they'll have some badass imposing biceps and pectorals to show for it the next time a stranger tries to pick them up in his van.
(* not really my uncle)
(˚ redundant, I know)