Deano’s answer to If you ate poop, what would actually happen?

I’d like to ask in reply, “Whose poop are we talking about?

(Photo courtesy http://amzn.to/jW0WXC)

Cats

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Cooked properly, something like domestic cat poop – which usually has high protein content – could actually be quite nutritive (though still not healthy to eat)… Just ask any local dogs what they think – it’s better than dog treats!

Civets

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More reasonably, you might try searching the internet for “Kopi Luwak“, which is a special (and extremely expensive) coffee made from Civet Feces, and generally regarded as one of those eccentric delicacies, rather than an overt health risk. Okay, I’m cheating there, because it’s a drink, but you could always brew up a batch, and turn it into Kopi Luwak Chip Ice Cream!

Camels

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If you’re ever suffering from bacterial dysentery in the desert, you may ask a local Bedouin for some fresh camel feces – the stuff contains Bacillus Subtilis, which is a natural antibiotic. I do not (wait for it…) make this shit up: German soldiers fighting in the African Campaign during WWII used this homeopathic solution when supplies ran low, with great efficacy(*). In fact, using feces as a medium to ingest foreign bacterial flora when one is deficient in same can be a viable treatment of certain ailments. Still, you’re probably better off sticking to yogurt.

Humans

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But, of course, you don’t really care about animal poo, do you? Let’s just cut to the chase, then: If you eat human feces, the most likely outcome is that you will become extremely ill from bacterial or viral infection by one or more of the following:

  • E. Coli
  • Hepatitis A
  • Hepatitis E
  • Viral Pneumonia
  • Polio
  • Influenza

When in doubt, stick with the excretions of herbivorous animals, eat in small quantities as a survival-stage technique only, and if you have a microwave or other bacteria-killing device handy, use it!

(* Carved from the interesting Wikipedia entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cop…)

If you ate poop, what would actually happen?

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