Author: Deano

Hold all your dates at hot springs and other venues that require a shower immediately beforehand.

See if you can track her food intake if the smell doesn't seem natural. Drug use can also cause various unpleasant odors.

Make sure it isn't you.

Then, armed with real data, and hopefully several fun dates and enjoyable times, mention that you'd like to continue dating, but it's simply something she needs to deal with. If she reacts defensively, it's a good sign she's somewhat aware of the issue. If not, you may be blessed as a super-olfactor, one of the few people who can smell imbalances or even disease in others. If she really seems oblivious, it may be hard to convince her to see her doctor about it, but ultimately you could be saving a life. If the worst outcome is catching a serious condition early in exchange for a breakup, wouldn't that be worth it?

How do you tell a girl you're dating that she smells bad?

Given that you mentioned "long term relationship girlfriend", then I'd advise a course that breaks from the norms as much as possible, gets you out of your comfortable routines ("date night", really?!?), and restores spice and energy to your love life:

• Pretend you're leaving Berkeley the next day – what are the absolutely "must do's" on both your lists that you haven't hit? Similarly, what are some of the key memories of times together/inspiration in your relationship that you could call to mind by adding them to your itinerary? If the date isn't fun, try to…
• Pretend you've both just moved to Berkeley – using only the knowledge of guidebooks, weekly newspapers, and ads posted in the nearest laundromat, plan a date/tour of the area as "prefroshes in love" or some such… It's like taking a vacation in your home town – when you can see it (and your partner) with fresh eyes, every day gets a little bit brighter. If that's still not working, then…
• Get outta Berkeley! – As a San Francisco Bay Area resident myself, the one thing I've noticed talking to people around here, regardless of where they are from: they tend to know a small subset of their town/city, and very little of the surrounding area(s). BART up to Walnut Creek and get lost in the strip malls (and make out in the parking lot between a couple minivans). Head to Emeryville for a romantic walk through Ikea, imagining how each piece of furniture will fit in your imagined dream home… Then cap it off with a candlelit (LED candles advised) dinner in the cafeteria upstairs. Hit the fine bars and bowling alleys of Albany – be a proud townie couple for the evening, and shelve things intellectual until the sun rises.

Three suggestions, not too detailed in terms of locations, I will admit – because, in the grand scheme, no "great location" is going to turn the humdrum existence of an LTR into the spark that burned your hearts and loins when you first met… Your goal is to find that spark, in large part by keeping your perspective fresh, and looking at your surroundings and each other with new eyes.

What's a good plan for "date night" with a long-term relationship girlfriend around Berkeley?

Your answers are likely to be bounded greatly by personal preferences when asking so specfically – for me, drinks at the bar in a nice upscale restaurant would be ideal, since:

• We could stick to drinks-only without ruffling anyone's feathers, and stay as long as we liked, or
• We could (in most cases) order appetizers, or even entrées off the menu to share, as a way to test the cuisine, without breaking the bank on a full course

Still, what you do on the date pales in importance to how you do it…

Make sure to present her with multiple invitations:

• To try something new (drink, appetizer, word game, whatever)
• Share her thoughts, opinions, background information (try to listen more than talk, good for her ego, as well as getting a feel for what she might like/hate in a second date)
• To relax and enjoy herself without expectations or even intentions beyond having a wonderful time with you

Above all, remember that in many ways that the first date is a lot like a first job interview, or the first investor pitch – the goal is simply to get another interview/meeting/date, not to achieve any of the more "traditional milestones" (first kiss, makeout, sex, etc).

I got a hot date Fri night! Dinner or drinks? I've heard you can do one but not both. Drinks seems more fun. Thoughts?

How will you deal with your girlfriend turning 40?

Change in relationships are pretty much the only constant in relationships*.

The best way to deal with changes in your partner over which you have no control is:

• Introspection – figuring out why the change upsets you
• Communication – using Nonviolent Communication techniques to explain your feelings to your partner
• Negotiation – finding a good "middle road" that allows you both your personal freedom to grow as individuals, while walking the same path together
• Resignation – letting go of the need to "win" the negotiation phase, and to not only tolerate, but move on from whatever outcome you can both agree on.

If you can do those four things effectively, you should be well on your way to resolving just about any issue you'll face. Just how to establish and conduct these four steps is the subject of a much longer post, though there is literally a few metric tons of information available in the printed literature: http://amzn.to/g3iD71

*Also, be open to exploring the other constant of relationships – the ending. If you can see how you'd like it to look in order to be considered a "success", and see how different/how far off that looks, you should have a much easier time weathering whatever immediate storms stand in your path.

How do I deal with my girlfriend turning religious?

Honestly and compassionately. Covers all three scenarios, and makes you a #winner regardless of the outcome.

If you want a specific "go to" script, then you're overestimating the ability of preparation to save the day. Rather, work on "being present/ready" in the moment, and being thoughtfully responsive instead of reactive.

How might one respond when a girl tells you that she likes you?