Author: Deano

I would submit that Shannon Larson's hypothesis is incorrect – Polyamory is not about creating a selection buffet for the physically attractive, but rather de-emphasizing specific traits as part of the attraction equation.

Put another way, if you don't need to permanently handcuff yourself to a single mate for life, or serially pursue theoretically-good single matches in turn over time, you are instead freed to selectively or massively experiment with/iterate across multiple coincident relationships based solely on the parts of such relationships that bring you joy… And then, ideally, "fill the gaps" as necessary with additional "fitting" relationships.

Polyamory is about "getting a wider spectrum of desires more consistently fulfilled than is statistically likely via monogamy", not "catching all the hottie-type Pokémon".

In the studies I've seen, and the polyamorous individuals I've interviewed, the inequalities of specific polyamorous couplings are far more centered around individuals' disparities of time, attention level and tactical/strategic intent for the relationship, rather than looks and money. Do more attractive but vain polyamorous people seem to have an easier time finding attractive compatible partners? Maaaaaaaybe!

Another point to remember: neither monogamous nor polyamorous relationships, by definition, presume eventual marriage (which seems to also be an undercurrent of the majority of answers here). It's much more likely, instead, that widespread societal polyamory would simply make romantic relations a more continuous/integrated part of the I LIKE YOU curve, rather than a jarring state change to an entirely different, if seemingly-parallel I LIKE-LIKE YOU graph.

Having said all that, the answer remains, of course, NO. Simply adding the ability to offset gender ratios with multiple partner relationships would not de facto guarantee proper equilibrium across the combination of gender, sexual identity, and sexual preference… And, in seriousness, it's never about the ratio, anyway. Every relationship that doesn't happen, doesn't happen for its own reasons.

Can gender ratio problems / frustrations be solved by widespread acceptance of polyamory?

Men prefer to make out with people they are romantically interested in, exclusively… Given that that tends to be a pretty limited subgroup of their acquaintances, this means it likely isn't a constant, on-demand phenomenon for most men, so make-outs tend to be appreciated on their own merits when they happen organically.

That said, men also tend to like sex, and are far less discriminatory about who they'd share that experience with.

Where the waters muddy a bit, is that men will also happily do just about anything to take the promise of sex to its sweatiest, most fall-asleep-before-you-get-yours conclusion possible, including making out with someone they may not otherwise have a romantic interest in.

In summary:

Men like to just make out sometimes, AND they will almost always make out if doing so leads to sex.

Do men like to make out or do they make out just to get sex?

Avoid pastrami.

What should I keep in mind when involving foods in sexual endeavors?

The best lovers, why that'd have to be Geological engineers!

• No qualms about digging into dirty holes.
• They know better than to mess around with miners.
• They will rock your world like no other.
• They won't be as judgmental if you want to get stoned afterwards.
• Avid Spelunkers. 'Nuff said.
• They will exhaustively map your topography with respect and care.
• And lastly, they're the only engineers who can ask "am I boring you?" in a way that turns you on even more.

Which kind of engineers make the best lovers?

If you're sure he's gay, you might just lay it all out and ask for advice.

Otherwise, suggest a perfectly normal platonic activity you both might enjoy.

The trick is, honestly, to just be there to enjoy yourself, and make friends who may be suitable for other things as well… Don't try to "make up for lost time", or "catch up on being gay"… Just start opening the real you up a bit more until you're fully comfortable in your new "out" skin, and make a habit of meeting people, inviting them out, and just letting your new life happen. 

After a while, some natural patterns/best practices for dealing with crushes may emerge, but for now just try not to get trapped too much by goals and expectations, they have a bad habit of putting a weird tinge on relationships of all kinds.

As a newly "out" gay guy, how do I tell another guy that I have a crush on him, without sounding creepy or pathetic?